Life Coaching London

Are You A Gay Dating Donkey?

Author: Mark Strong

I'm speaking on a panel next month in NYC about gay dating. One of the sub-topics will be the effect that the web is having on our collective success in finding love.

Author's note: I must admit that after a number of frustrating years dating online, I eventually turned to a gay matchmaker in NYC. He introduced me to two guys in two weeks who were infinitely closer to my ideal than most of the men I met via online dating in two years. My partner is the third man he introduced me to and I fell for him just about the time I finished my first cup of coffee.

As a gay Life Coach, many of my clients partner with me to help them find love. As we inventory their strategies for rubbing up against as many appropriate men as possible in their quest, most are using the internet to help fill the "pipeline."

There is no doubt that there are oodles of dazzling men online and I most certainly have clients who have found lasting partners this way. However, I work with many other clients who struggle to make a lasting love connection online. Here are just a few of the critical dating issues I witness repeatedly showing up for my clients:

1. Our collective offline dating skills are atrophying. When is the last time you asked a guy out at the grocery store or at the gym? If you're like some of my clients, the answer is probably "not as often as you used to" or "rarely." We have become more comfortable clicking the "You're hot" button as our introduction to strangers and less comfortable simply introducing ourselves to the cute boys at Starbucks. Also, conventional wisdom suggests that handsome confident men don't approach guys who have their heads down furiously typing on their Blackberries. Obvious observation #1: Put away your electronics. Open up your body language to make yourself available to be approached. Or even better…open your mouth and say hello.

2. Online dating "seems" easier, but it's not. With pull down menus and check boxes, hundreds of men instantly appear who supposedly meet your criteria and just might be the love of your life. But the list is just that. A list. And it's just as much work to connect with someone online as it is offline. The mere process of weeding through profiles and coyly emailing back and forth can become overwhelming and demoralizing for even the most tenacious of men. Obvious observation #2: Spread your limited energy. Search online and in the real world, too. Your chances of success are exponential.

3. The websites you're on = the relationships you'll get. I have yet to encounter a client who has met his soul mate on sex-fueled manhunt.com, GPS-based Grindr or age-defying silverdaddies.com. If you do find a real relationship in one of these places, then please email me. I'll put your name on the list as the first. Obvious observation #3: If you want to be with someone who you can introduce to your parents back in Ohio, reserve your dating energy for sites that have more relationship-oriented titles. You know the ones.

4. Act like a man. If you're seeking a relationship inclusive of hot sex, but not limited to just that, kindly remove any pictures of your genitals – inspired or otherwise - from the internet. Consider conducting yourself like an adult man and stop behaving like an adolescent animal. Obvious observation #4: Act like a donkey and you'll get the ass you want. Act like a man and you'll find the guy of your dreams.

Prudish? Troglodyte? Techophobe? Perhaps I am. But I assure you that superior dating behaviors – online and offline - result in higher quality men and eventually lifelong love. I see it work every day.

Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/coaching-articles/are-you-a-gay-dating-donkey-1845156.html

About the Author

Mark Strong is a Certified Professional Coach and the founder of The Gay Life Coach. He specializes in helping gay men explore, enhance and expand their lives. For more information on Mark or on how to become a client, visit www.thegaylifecoach.com or call 646.418.0291.

Clear Limiting Belief About Money
Manifest Your Desires
Change Your Negative Beliefs

Manifest Wealth Hypnosis
Self Hypnosis For Weight Loss

FREE Report Reveals: How To Become Your Best Self And Live The Life You Always Wanted!

Discover The Secrets To Becoming Your True Self And Attracting Anything You Want In Your Life…

Claim Your FREE “How To Become Your Best Self” Report ( Value) Below:

Name:

Email:

We HATE spam as much as you do.  Your email address will NEVER be given to any third parties.